Blitzen

Every year, we host our annual Christmas date centered on one of Santa’s reindeer—a tradition flexible enough to become almost anything. This year’s inspiration came from an unlikely place.

While rewatching one of Stefon’s iconic Saturday Night Live Weekend Update segments—the kind where Bill Hader can barely keep a straight face—Ben caught a detail that felt too perfect to ignore. One of Stefon’s famously absurd New York clubs was named Blitzen.

That was it.

The rest was history.

Because if Stefon says a club called Blitzen exists, then obviously the North Pole would have the premier version. And if Stefon insists a club has everything, then the only responsible question to ask is:

What if a Christmas club truly had EVERYTHING?

So we invited our good friends, the Roses, over for what quickly became one of our most ambitious holiday productions ever—a fully imagined North Pole nightlife attraction called Club Blitzen, a three-tier, one-night-only experience featuring three distinct clubs under one roof.

A supper club.

A dance club.

A comedy club.

And somehow… we experienced all three in a single night.

Guests arrived dressed for the occasion—flannel, sweaters, hunting caps, sashes—ready for what they’d been told was a “club crawl.” What they weren’t told was how literal that would be.

The house had been transformed into a three-floor experience, each level with its own name, menu, lighting, music, props, and rules. You didn’t just attend Club Blitzen. You progressed through it.

Think less holiday party, more if Santa outsourced nightlife planning to Stefon.

Floor One: The Northwoods Supper Club

The night began grounded, cozy, and unmistakably Midwestern.

The Northwoods Supper Club was all plaid tablecloths, winter lanterns, reindeer balloons, and a Mrs. Claus backdrop that quietly set the tone: warm, welcoming, and just self-aware enough. This was where guests eased in, caught up, and unknowingly fueled themselves for the chaos ahead.

Under the banner Season’s Eatings, the food leaned hard into lodge-core comfort. Cranberry–goat cheese Christmas crackers. Deviled eggs with smoked paprika. A relish tray that felt pulled straight from a Midwestern supper club in the best possible way.

The mains followed suit: Sloppy Does and ’Tis the (Hunting) Season Chili, both venison-forward dishes that subtly warned the reindeer to stay alert.

Just beyond the dining area sat The Back Forty Bar, proudly labeled The Herd’s Favorite Watering Hole. The night officially kicked off with communal Shots Fired, followed by carefully supervised champagne pops, Aperol Spritz-mas, and cosmopolitans aptly named All the Jingle Ladies.

The feature event on this floor was Doe’s Night Out, a full reindeer-games takeover where competition replaced conversation and dignity became optional. Bachelorette-style games were reimagined through a North Pole lens: Pass the Buck, Rein-Deer Pong, marshmallow scooping challenges, holiday Never Have I Ever, and—quickly emerging as a fan favorite—the Human Parking Cone, courtesy of Stefon’s original sketch.

There was laughter.

There was shouting.

There were moments when no one remembered how a game started, but everyone agreed it had to continue.

Floor Two: The Stag Party at Blitzen Night Club

The transition to the next floor was immediate and undeniable.

Because Blitzen means lightning in German, and this floor fully committed to the translation.

Christmas strobe lights pulsed against evergreen garlands. Red and green LEDs flashed like festive lightning strikes. The lighting dropped. The music climbed. Sunglasses appeared indoors without explanation. Necklaces layered over sweaters. The North Pole had officially gone electric.

And then—without ceremony but with total confidence—the candy cane dancing pole made its debut, confirming we had crossed a threshold there was no returning from.

Dessert arrived under the perfectly named banner “Give Me a Little Sugar.” Eggnog Jello shots, reindeer-shaped Spritz-en cookies, and Red Velvet Rope Cupcakes signaled that restraint was no longer part of the program.

Behind the bar—now rebranded The Velvet Antler—the drinks leaned bold and theatrical: smoky Manhattans, mezcal-pomegranate spritzes glowing holiday red under the strobes, and gin bucks topped with ginger beer and rosemary. The music hit harder. The lights earned their keep.

For a brief, glorious stretch of time, Club Blitzen became exactly what it promised: loud, ridiculous, and fully committed to the bit.

Floor Three: The Blitzen Comedy Club

The final climb led to the crown jewel.

The Blitzen Comedy Club wasn’t just a corner with a microphone—it was a full transformation. A proper stage. A dedicated backdrop. Mood lighting dialed down just enough to suggest intimacy, but not enough to discourage bad decisions.

This was where the Stefon inspiration fully took over.

Snacks appeared to steady nerves—rosemary popcorn cones and spiced nuts roasted by the fireplace. Drinks followed quickly: Mic Drop Martinis, Hot Take Cocoa, and Velvet Blitz Espresso Martinis, because comedy—like lightning—benefits from confidence and a little danger.

Then came the performances with Ben dressed up as Stefon serving as host.

Each guest delivered a three-minute comedy monologue, ranging from surprisingly thoughtful to deeply unhinged. Some leaned observational. Others leaned confessional. A few leaned straight into chaos. Every one of them was met with encouragement, groans, and the kind of laughter that only happens when friends feel safe enough to fully commit.

And then came the crown jewel: Stefon Mad Libs.

Weeks earlier, each guest had unknowingly completed a Mad Libs-style questionnaire—harmless prompts about holiday traditions, favorite foods, worst jobs, and oddly specific fears. On their own, the answers meant nothing. But once run through AI and dropped into fully written Weekend Update–style scripts, they became something else entirely. No one made it through their script without breaking. The audience barely survived.

The Verdict

By the time the final joke landed, the strobe lights dimmed, and the mic was set down, it was clear: Club Blitzen had delivered.

Lightning-fast transitions.

Electric energy.

Three distinct experiences stitched together by intention, pacing, and a shared willingness to lean fully in.

Because when Stefon says a place has everything—

He might actually be underselling it.

Games.

Costumes.

Comedy.

Cocktails.

Venison.

Marshmallows.

Human traffic cones.

Merry Blitzen to all.

And to all… a very good night

Activities

• Three-Tier Club Crawl (Supper Club → Night Club → Comedy Club)

• Tag Your Buck Northwoods Photo Booth

• Human Parking Cones (“Sleigh All Day”)

• Christmas Comes Unraveled Streamer Challenge

• Never Would I Ever: Holiday Edition

• Pass the Buck (Left-Right-Center)

• Rein-Deer Pong

• Marshmallow Hoof Scoop Challenge

• Stag Party Dance Floor with Candy Cane Pole

• XXX Tic-Tac-Toe Running Game

• Ornament “Drop It Like It’s Hot”

• Solo-Cup Christmas Tree with “No Touching Allowed”

• “Get Buck Up” Forehead Cup Challenge

• Memory Challenge: “No Photos. Eyes Only.”

• Three-Minute Comedy Monologues

• Stefon Says Mad Libs (Weekend Update Scripts)

• Open Sleigh Night: Holiday Love-It-or-Leave-It

FOOD

• Cranberry–Goat Cheese Christmas Crackers

• Deerly Beloved Deviled Eggs

• Relish the Day Tray (Pickles, Olives, Peppers, Cheddar & Colby)

• Sloppy Does w/ Venison

• ’Tis the (Hunting) Season Venison Chili

• Eggnog Jello Shots

• Reindeer Spritz-en Cookies

• Red Velvet Rope Cupcakes

• Rosemary Popcorn Cones

• Spiced Nuts Roasted by the Fireplace

DRINKS

• Shots Fired (Bourbon, Maple, Bitters)

• Champagne Pops (“Loud Pops”)

• Aperol Spritz-mas

• All the Jingle Ladies Cosmo

• The Stag (Smoky Manhattan)

• Rudolph’s Red Light District (Mezcal Pomegranate Spritz)

• Blitzen Buck (Gin, Apple Cider, Ginger Beer, Rosemary)

• Mic Drop Martini

• Hot Take Cocoa

• Velvet Blitz Espresso MartiniVelvet Blitz